


Eat

by thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes



Series: Doki Doki Literature Club: Female Protagonist Version [3]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorders, F/F, Female Protagonist, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17580827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes/pseuds/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes
Summary: MC chooses this torture for herself, Natsuki doesn't have that luxury.





	Eat

**Author's Note:**

> My life has been an absolute shotshow recently

The smell of freshly baked goods wafted through the classroom, the delicious scent of saccharine sweet icing takes over everything else and becomes the only thing on my mind. I look up from the book I had been nose-deep in and my eyes immediately settle on the tray of cupcakes placed on the centre of the table, then to Natsuki, who stands proudly before them, smiling to herself. Monika smiles at her and grabs two, passing one to Yuri, who takes it politely. The two of them pull off the lining before taking dainty bites out of the pastries. Sayori happily grabs one and does a little dance as she bites straight into the paper. Natsuki looks at me expectanttly and gestures to the cupcakes.

"O-oh, sorry, I-I'm really full," I lie through my teeth, anxiety crawling up my spine like an unwelcome insect beneath my skin. Natsuki's eyes instantly flash with annoyance and I shrink in on myself, giving her a sorry look before trying to go back to my book.

"Come on, you don't have to be hungry! Just eat one!"

"Natsuki, if (Y/N) doesn't want to eat, you shouldn't force her," Yuri scolds. Natsuki bristles, now allowing her anger to show in her expression. I feel like running away.

"What, do you not like cupcakes or something?" The small girl pushes.

"N-no I do, but-"

"But what? Just eat one!"

My knuckles turn white as I hold tightly onto the book in my hands. My legs shake as I stand up out of my seat and look at her with borderline fury in my eyes.

"I told you, I don't want one!"

"Why not!? Do you-"

"Because I'm anorexic!"

A deafening silence takes over as my words bounce around the room. Yuri looks up to me with surprise and concern, while Monika looks between me and the youngest girl, opening her mouth and getting ready to break this up.

"That's... That's so stupid!"

Natsuki's outburst has me widening my eyes at her, dropping my book onto the table with a crash that causes the tea in our cups to ripple.

"What?" I exhale, confused and upset.

"That's so dumb! Why would you choose to starve yourself when some people-"

"Natsuki, no-" Sayori tries to cut in, but Natsuki's voice is louder than anyone's and she is not backing down.

"No! Why would you starve by choice when people- people like me- don't have control over when they get fed!?"

My eyebrows raise in shock, and the other girls all look sympathetic at the two of us.

"Yeah, that's right! I don't get to choose when I do and don't eat! So why the heck would you do that to yourself!?"

I come to the realisation that if this continues, things will only get worse. As quickly as I can, I grab my book and my backpack, then storm towards the door. The girls, bar Natsuki, call for me to come back, but I'm already out the door, tears streaming down my cheeks as my inner turmoil sickens me with guilt. Natsuki's right, isn't she? Why do I do this to myself when other people aren't even fortunate enough to have something to deny? I shake off those thoughts, however, when I remember what Natsuki had said- "people like me," does that mean what I think it does?  
-  
I don't show up to the literature club for a few days, sneaking home early before Sayori can catch me and going home early. I have been unable to think of anything other than what Natsuki told me, and I realise that neither of us is truly at fault, but I worry that she doesn't see it that way.

After three days, I muster up the courage tok face the girls from the club. I walk through the classroom door, all eyes instantly settling on me. But I ignore the others, instead setting my sights on one specific girl. My eyes lock with Natsuki's and a silent message is sent between us in a way I cannot describe. I walk over to her seat on the floor, and she stands up. Once we're close enough, I look her in the eyes and bite my lip.

"I-"

"I'm sorry," Natsuki beats me to it, her face conveying nothing but honesty (and perhaps a hint of displeasure at being the one to apologise). I look down at her with wide eyes and forget how to speak for aoment. A blush dusts her cheeks and her eyes look a little watery. I finally catch my breath and speak up.

"I- I'm sorry, too..."

We stand there in silence for a moment, the two of us looking down at the floor nervously. But then I remember that I came here with a purpose. I square my shoulders, take a deep breath, then look at her.

"Natsuki," I start, causing her to look up at me, "H-how would like to go out. To dinner. With me..."

My words are clunky and awkward and for a moment I fear that I've overstepped some sort of boundary, but then Natsuki smiles and I feel my heart flutter.

"Only if you eat,"

I smile, a toothy grin settling on my lips that matches her blushing smirk.

"Is that a 'yes?" I ask, grinning down at her all goofy and a little love-struck.

"Of course it's a 'yes, dummy."


End file.
